Setelah Kau Tiada

A song by Cakra Khan describes all...

Hanna

Yes, she does. Hanna Syakira the youngest and used to be very close to arwah Hanif. She will definitely brings me back down to the memory lane..

I was driving home last Thursday when she called, sharing her excitement with me. " Mama , Hanna dah dapat markah BM 81, Matematik 90, BI 90. "Pandai Hanna", thats all I can say.

At around 7.30pm she was busy calling someone. I knew it. Hanna was so excited to share with everyone . " Nenek, ni Hanna. Hanna dah dapat markah, ..and so on...same story to share.. Mama nenek nak solat, nanti Hanna call baliklah."

After a while, again... I heard the conversation, Aunty Lily jadi mangsa...Aunty/ Trolley( mereka dan nama samaran masing2) Hanna dah dapat markah... and again, same story to share....

And last night , Mama dah beritahu Kak Syakira ke markah Hanna. I said No and she quikly weechat kakak.

This morning when we were in uitm she was trying hard to share the same story with Buji thru whtts app but maybe the line was quite distracted.

And finally just few minutes ago, just the two of us in the car. She finally said it and it broke my heart so much.  "Kalau Papa,ada dia mesti dah belikan Hanna hadiah". At last I realised, she misses him a lot. Tambah lagi Hanna genap 7 tahun pada 16 Oktober lalu dan selama ketika Arwah masih ada pasti ada sesuatu untuk Hanna setidak2 nya kek dikongsi bersama Kak Hasya (they both share the same bday month).
terima kasih banyak2 to Aunty2 and Nenek and kakak2 and everyone yng tidak jemu melayan Hanna yang memang sering merindui.....

Dan dua tiga hari lalu terdengar Hanna menelefon dan mengadu domba dengan Kak Syakira bila Haziq mengusiknya sehingga menangis. Dan itulah rutin Hanna sejak dulu lagi kepada papanya ketika arwah masih ada. Rupanya kini Kak Syakira pengganti arwah.  Thanks Syakira for listening to her and soothe her everytime she calls. That's what kakak is for, right.

Hanna sering dilihat sangat nakal, ceria , keletah tetapi jauh di sudut hatinya pasti  tetap teringat akan Arwah dan will always do. Never that she misses even once praying for arwah everytime passing by Tanah Perkubuean Bukit Badak.

Langkawi

13 October 2013

Headed to KLIA around 2.30 pm. Million thanks to Syamim, Wie and Aiman for sending fourteen of us.

First time flying with Malindo Air ("Not Just Low Cost") departed at 4.55pm. An hour and five minutes travelling with Malindo Air and I personally feel it was worth it. Not only free check-in baggage (20 kg) but each passenger was served with a red bean bun and a cute mineral water  at a fare of RM74 (promo) per person. Hope Air Asia could offer the same in the future....

www.malindoair.com

Nenek mendapat layanan istimewa

Mendarat di Langkawi International Airportt

En. Azizi, owner D'Padi menyambut kami

Reached Langkawi Airport at 6pm and En. Azizi, the D'padi owner brought us straight to the homestay.

Overlooking to scenic paddy fields,
The D'padi homestay is really calm and strategically located right in the middle of the  paddy fields. A cute nice three bedrooms bungalow and fully furnished.

http://d-padi.blogspot.com

Nothing much for the day, Ai and Lily did a
quick grocery while familiarising themselves with the routes.

Early bedtime for everyone, and another new and exciting experience for tomorrow, Payar Island for snorkeling.

Nite.....

Jangan Mengungkit

Sambil melayan Hakim membuat soalan Sains (MCQ) secara santai, saya tertarik dengan siaran Al Hijrah yang memaparkan kuliah Zohor oleh Ustadz Harryanto. Tajuk kuliah sangat memikat hati, sangat terkesan dan sesuai dengan senario sehari hari kehidupan kita iaitu Jangan Mengungkit. Begitu simple, tetapi ternyata inilah yang sering berlaku samada secara sedar atau tidak.

Ia sangat sinonim dengan apa yang kami lalui. Hidup kami sekeluarga agak berbeza semenjak ditinggalkan Arwah. Lebih kepada menerima dari memberi. Perasaan jadi keliru, malu ada, rasa bersalah pun ada. Mulalah fikir macam-macam.Bagaimanapun kami terima seikhlas hati kerana segalanya rezeki dari Allah walaupun pemberian itu amat sedikit. Besar ertinya buat kami sekeluarga. Hanya Allah yang membalas segala pemberian. Bagaimanapun, kadang kadang perkara yang berlaku adalah di luar jangkaan. Pemberian dan pertolongan yang dianggap ikhlas rupanya tidak seperti yang disangkakan. Mungkin mereka menyesal menghulurkan bantuan kepada kami dan mulalah mengungkit apa yang telah diberikan satu persatu. jadi terlalu berkira pula. Inilah hakikat dan pengalaman sebenar kami tempuhi sehinggalah ke saat dan hari ini. Dengan anak-anak pun diungkit. Kasihan juga dengan Syakira dan Hasya yang mungkin dah cukup besar untuk rasa terhina. Ia bukan menjurus kepada sakit hati tetapi sayu dan sedih lebih lebih lagi yang mengungkit telah berkorban untuk kami sekeluarga itu adalah orang terdekat. 

Sebagai ketua keluarga saya menjadi was was dan cuak untuk menerima bantuan atau meminta bantuan kerana takut jadi ungkitan lagi. mulalah kononnya nak cuba berdikari walaupun kadang kadang terpaksa juga minta tolong. Tapi itu juga menjadi masalah. Ada pula yang menganggap dan pandai berdikari sedikit dah mula sombong. Rupanya susah juga jadi ibu tunggal dan anak yatim. Coretan saya bukan langsung untuk meraih simpati tetapi diharap menjadi panduan hidup ke arah yang lebih baik.Nak terima bantuan lagi, nanti takut disebut-sebut dan diungkit ungkit. Tidak terima dikatakan pula dah sombong dan macam-macam lagi. Akhirnya yang terbaik hanya berserah kepadaNya kerana inilah dugaan yang perlu dihadapi. Jika dibandingkan dengan orang lain apalah sangat dugaan yang terpaksa saya hadapi sekarang dan tidak pasti sampai bila. Apapun bersyukur dan ikhlas menerima ujian dariNya. 

Bagaimanapun kami sekeluarga sangat berterima kasih kerana masih ada lagi sokongan dan pemberian saudara-mara, rakan-rakan, jiran tetangga yang sangat ikhlas membantu kami sekeluarga tidak putus-putus sehingga ke hari ini.   

Semoga pengisian kuliah Ust. Yanto memberi peringatan buat diri saya dan anak-anak supaya tidak sanggup melakukannya kepada orang lain sepertimana yang kami telah dan sedang lalui ini. In shaa Allah.....
Sebelum beri sesuatu fikir dulukan, jika rasa nak ungkit balik, baik batalkan saja.

Dari Abu Hurairah r.a., Nabi s.a.w. bersabda,

“Tiga orang yang tidak akan Allah ajak bicara pada hari kiamat, tidak pula Allah melihat kepada mereka dan juga tidak mensucikan mereka, serta bagi mereka azab yang pedih.”

Abu Hurairah berkata, “Beliau mengulanginya hingga tiga (3) kali”. Abu Dzarr berkata, “Sungguh merugi, siapakah mereka wahai Rasulullah?” Beliau menjawab, “Musbil (orang-orang yang berisbal iaitu yang melabuhkan pakaiannya melebihi mata kaki ke bawah (bagi lelaki)), orang yang mengungkit-ngungkit kebaikannya dan orang yang menjual barang dagangannya dengan sumpah palsu.” (Hadis Riwayat Muslim, 106)

Thank You

Almost to the end of Syawal and open houses still go on.

Thanks a million to all, Amy and En. Zahid for the brunch, Kak Idah for the great lunch and completed our day with dinner and family gathering in a newly opened restaurant owned by Felda named Savaro located in Publika, Hartamas. Great hospitality and I enjoy the white furnishings and decorating style with splash of green and wood colours.

The kids were overjoyed  that Savaro is just few metres away from Hartamas Regency condo. It was a great timeout for them, spending few hours in the pool regardless of the pouring rain and straight to the restaurant for dinner.
Thank you so much to Kak Yati/Mak De.

Do share several snapshots during the dinner:)

Thank You to Fatin(kanan) di ats layanan

Nasi dihidang di dalam buluh comel

Gambar sebagai kenangan 

Everything Happens for a Reason

An old time friend in uitm Atai (thanks alot:)) shared this story in our group. I must admit it is very true. Everything happens for a reason and Allah knows best. After one year arwah left me and the kids, i learnt a lot and despite of all the challenges, tests and obstacles we faced, there will always be blessings at the end of the episode.

As for me, i personally feels the difference, the strength, the courage and most of all to be more thankful and "syukur" to Him.

I wish my children grow up to be better each day, be thankful and i know this is a great challenge to me.

Feel free to share this story ya:)

A King had a male servant who, in all circumstances always said to him; My king, do not be discouraged because everything Allah does is perfect, no mistakes. One day, they went hunting and a wild animal attacked the king,the servant managed to kill the animal but couldn't prevent his majesty from losing a finger. Furious and without showing gratitude, the King said; if Allah was good,
I would not have been attacked and lost one finger. The servant replied;
Despite all these things, I can only tell you that Allah is good and everything He does is perfect,He is never wrong. Outraged by the response, the king ordered the arrest of his servant. Later, he left for another hunt and was captured by savages who use human beings for sacrifice. In the altar, the savages found out that the king didn't have one finger in place, he was released because he was considered not "complete" to be offered to the Gods.

On his return to the palace, he authorized the release of his servant and said; My friend, Allah was really good to me. I was almost killed but for lack of a single finger I was let go. But I have a question; If Allah is so good, why did He allow me to put you in jail?. He replied; My king, if I had gone with you, I would have been sacrificed because I have no missing finger. Everything Allah does is perfect, He is never wrong.


Often we complain about life, and the incidents that happen to us, forgetting that nothing is random, and that everything has a purpose. Allah knows why he chose you to face the challenge simply because everything happens for a reason, things do happen for our own good.

Allah is Great!

Hanna and her wish

"Mama hari ni kita pergi kubur papa ke?" Early in the morning today. I just agreed but since a last minute order for 10 big jars was received this morning, I thought Hanna could wait patiently.

Alhamdulillah we made it in the last day of Ramadhan this year to fullfill Hanna's wish and for the second time celebrating Aidil Fitri without arwah. Alfatihah........

It is a different feeling...

Wish you all a happy and peacefull Eid ul Fitr Mubarak, and may Allah bless and reward all of you with His blessings.

11 JULY

Last year on the same date, 11 July 2012 changed our whole life. That phone call.... from his workplace was never expected. Puan Salina from the HR department at around 2.30pm informed me about Arwah being collapsed and the police  had arrived. "Saya nak inform suami Puan dah meninggal dunia".He had gone forever without saying goodbye. His last promise that morning was to Hanna "hari ni nak balik awal sikit and nanti kita jumpa ya", while hugging each other. Afrer few days, in her conversation with Kak Syakira, "papa cakap nak balik awal tapi tak balik pun, terus meninggal".

Before the phone call was received, packets of rice were delivered to our doorstep and I straight away asked Haziq to text arwah and informed him. Nevertheless he did not reply. I thought he might be very busy in the office after being in Australia and Jakarta for the past two weeks. Maybe later...I was wrong. He was dying and later we were informed about his demise.

Di dalam tempoh setahun pelbagai pengalaman baru ditempuhi. Semua dilihat sangat susah untuk ditempuhi.Masa berlalu dan hidup diteruskan dengan sokongan pelbagai pihak walaupun rupanya baru tersedar ada yang mengambil kesempatan di atas pemergiannya. Bantuan yang dihulurkan menjadi ungkitan sebagai pengorbanan kepada kami sekeluarga.

Apapun sokongan ikhlas dari orang lain, sahabat handai, jiran dan saudara mara mengatasi segalanya. Terina kasih tidak terhingga kepada semua yang ikhlas membantu kami kerana Allah. Hanya Dia yang membalas jasa kalian yang tidak tersebut nama-nama semua.

Contohnya, ketika sedang sangat kecewa dan putus asa diuji,  terasa seperti dikejutkan dengan nasihat yang sangat ikhlas dari kakak yang agak strict. Seperti terbangun dari tidur, thanks a lot kak. Bila begitu sedih dan pilu Lely lebih approachable untuk dikongsi together with my girls. Thanks to all and of course semua yang tidak jemu membantu. If uncle Ai,  Asyraf and Aiman selalu jadi mangsa but now I have Syamim to bring me everywhere. Selalu juga menyusahkan Rolfe dan Ruhaizat. In shaa Allah we will try our best.

To UNIRAZAK, lecturers, staff. Arwah's students,thanks a million.Tambahan pula hampir setiap minggu Syakira balik dengan pelbagai cerita dan sokongan dari rakan-rakannya juga.

Hidup diteruskan demi membesarkan kelima lima anak kami. Sayalah Papa dan Mama dan mencuba yang terbaik.

Peluang berjumpa dan mendapat nasihat dari orang yang berfikiran pisitif sangat membantu. Prof. Dr. Muhaya memberi nasihat yang sangat menyentuh jiwa dan in shaa Allah akan dijadikan panduan hidup.

"Bila orang buat kita, uji kita tak apa sebab dia nak bagi pahala tapi bila orang puji kita kena berhati hati takut timbul riak. Selalu ingat Allah ada dan orang-orang yang banyak keladak kita jauhkan".

Berharap dan berusaha untuk kehidupan yang lebih baik walaupun hanya sementara. Harap tidak disalah anggap kerana keadaan sudah berbeza, perlu labih berhati- hati dan tidak terlalu mempercayai. Menjauhkan diri dan bersikap biasa biasa sahaja adalah lebih selamat.

Semoga arwah suami Allahyarham Mohd Hanif dicucuri rahmat. Al fatihah.....

My Deal

Baking prevails blogging. That's what I can say for the past three weeks and until today.

Alhamdulillah it is almost a year of his demise but I am certainly surrounded and supported by my parents, siblings, relatives and friends. May Allah bless us all. Thank you to UNIRAZAK and staff for the support, they are still contacting, sharing stories and saying hello to us. Its the thought that counts and we appreciate so much. Sometimes my daughters commented, " Ma, kadang-kadang tu terasa orang luar yang lebih concern and ambil berat tentang family kita. Sedih jugak kan". Yes, I supposed they are certainly right but my dear girls, do remember Allah is always there for us.

Back to Papa cookies, my children are very excited with the practical training for the past few weeks, from production and operation, packaging, labeling, financing, promotion, marketing as well as delivering. Syukur alhamdulillah for the effort. If only he is still around, Arwah must be proud of them....
There was one time during Hari Raya when Syakira was in Standard Six, preparing Mee Goreng for our guests. Arwah was very excited announcing to everyone that her daughter was the great cook...

Papa cookies still go on and is currently busy fulfilling demand for pre-Ramadhan. Orders for Hari Raya are also in the list and orders are still welcome. Please feel free to contact (017-3222455/ 017- 3333315).

Our thank you to Syamim Jannah for her effort that Papa cookies is able to be featured in the mydeal online sales.

http://www.mydeal.com.my/deals/kuala-lumpur/ending-soon-30-delicious-homemade-papa-cookies-choose-rm7-1-jar-rm20-3-jars-deliv

Papa Cookies

It was  few weeks after Arwah Hanif passed away when I had the opportunity to meet Dr. Siti Mariah. Sure enough I found myself in a deep conversation with her. We shared about life experieces, and even cried together. The conversation that  we had was only about half an hour but it was truly meaningful, honest and worthwhile. She inspired me and I thought there is no harm trying now.

"Kita diduga dengan pelbagai cara tapi apapun mesti ada hikmah. Dari apa yang saya dengar tentang kisah you ni, saya yakin you boleh, you are educated and I can see that you are very concerned about your kids instead of your ownself. My experiences meeting with single mothers vary. Ada yang ok tapi ada yang fokus kepada diri sendiri, sibuk dengan fesyen terkini dengan gaya yang berlebihan. But I hope you can think and react wisely and this is about the right time for you to seek support from your family and friends. Bukan ambil kesempatan tapi dengan apa yang u ada and your strength, do something and im sure they will support you if they are sincere".

Then I thought this is it. As mentioned in my previous post, my part is done and am now waiting for feedbacks. So why not give it a go. And my girls are also excited about it and they suggested the name Papa Cookies (its all about remembering Arwah Papa).  For our first try it is the Corn flakes homemade Cookies.

Our first week of trying and alhamdulillah we receive orders. Thank you so much to my children for your support and being loyal commenters along with Acik(superb in food testing but yet to order:) and Buji, to Syamin Jannah for the handsome marketing plan, Wee, neighbours, Kak Lina and Suzie, Ms. Leilanie, Ms. Alicia and others. We appreciate your support....Thanks again.

Untuk order yang seterusnya

Patience and Understanding

The processes that I am going through are really new to me. From the day and month of arwah Hanif's demise (July 2012) until today I am still in the midst of tackling one issue to another. Almost a year and along the way I received support, preasures, tests, critics, and positive comments. Accused of being ignorant and not efficient enough to settle things was one of those.Masha Allah, a real challenge! (Sepatutnya cairkan semua aset arwah, bayar hutang kemudian bahagi ikut faraid). One of the comments, simply commenting and not realising this is what Suhaizan has been doing for almost a year till today.

 Sincerely, every single step takes time and tested my patience too. I do not purposely delaying but the procedures and protocoles made me. For months my routines are making telephone calls, visiting Government offices and banks, faxing, sending emails, etc. Therefore, please understand and it is not wise to judge me blindly. It is hard to forget because it hurts but I try to remember it as a good lesson in the future. I am just hamba Allah and am not perfect.

Not only that there are five children to deal with. Hanna's first year of school, Syakira and her PLKN issue and many more. I must thank my friend who assisted us and it was then settled.

By the way to some people who are well experienced and proffesionals, they commented favourably (Kira Zan cepat ya submit dokumen dan dapat settle dengan LA letter, Mahkamah Syariah, EPF  tak sampai setahun, enam bulan lebih dah terima surat perintah mahkamah). Huh, what a relief to hear. A sincere and relevant comments from those who are aware of the processes instead of simply commenting as earlier, right?

I must agree and syukur alhamdulillah compared to those who are still struggling to settle the issue for years, disagreement among siblings, fighting for rights and so on....

To be frank, my  part is done for the time being. Right after the hearing in the land office (several copies of LA letters obtained from them), it is a beginning of another process. Showing proudly the LA to the respective parties and yes I have approached until last week, finally. Puspakom and JPJ done, visit to Inland Revenue done, other Government offices done, and meeting the lawyer done. Nothing else but to wait patiently for the feedbacks and  not waiting blindly instead. Every week I am contacting them for the latest updates. Trust me, I make a pool of new acquaintances along the way...

Please do not get me wrong again. Iam not delaying and denying rights but this is absolutely beyond my control. Hope things can get settled as soon as possible.

The experiences taught me a lot. It is wiser to communicate with the people who appreciate and help sincerely.

Nothing is better than getting redha from Him while going on with life with the children, parents, family and friends healthily and happily. At the same time,In shaa Allah arwah Hanif is always with us. This morning right after she woke up hanna shared her dream, again about arwah. "Ada orang ambil papa bawa balik papa lepas tu kita duduk dengan dia dalam bilik, cium papa, Hakim dengan kak Syakira aje tak ada".........

 Redha, ikhlaskan diri, berusaha, mengenali hati budi setiap insan di sekeliling, lebih berhati-hati dan bergantung sepenuhnya kepada Allah.

"Be patient and understanding. Life is too short to be vengeful and malicious".

What a Day

A fine Tuesday morning, same house chores school bags, uniforms and laundry before leaving for KL. A smooth journey heading to Wangsa Maju when suddenly the air cond was not functioning. As soon as we passed the Jalan Duta Toll then I realized the lights at the dashboard were all turned on. Reminds me of what arwah claimed that this is a warning and something is wrong. Syakira contacted the mechanic and advised to turn off the air cond, keep on driving till i get to find a workshop. Do not turn off the engine or we'll be stranded by the roadside.

Finally reached Wangsa Maju and quickly searched for a workshop. The belt needed to be replaced.  While the mechanic did the jump start he was suddenly losing control,the car reversed and the driver's door hit and stucked at one of the cars parked nearby. Too bad when it hit the door hard enough to dent it.

It took few hours to repair and the waiting time was fully occupied settling arwah's stuff in the lawyer's office. Finally, everything was ready quite late in the evening and we headed straight to Kg Baru to collect Syakira's stuff from the hostel. Time flies very fast and all I know she has completed her first semester.

Along the way that we realised the screen cracked. Might due to the hard hit. We were lucky enough to have Rolfe  around and decided to leave the car with him to settle with the repairing. He and his wife sent us back home.

Wow, what a day. Man plans but Allah decides. Let us pray for His blessings, in shaa Allah.....

Not That Simple

It is not that easy. And no wonder it is quite expensive to pay the runner. I do it myself and can save a lot and the experience that counts.

This is my third day visiting Puspakom and JPJ in Padang Jawa. Waiting is very cliche, etc when everything is up to date the person in charge is away for breakfast and surprisingly the break time is quite sometime, almost one hour, and this is breakfast alone.

In shaa Allah will share the whole process later and will write in next post:)

Malaysia Polling Day

Overflowing of messages received from whatts app etc highlighting the most updated issues and incidents.

I have yet to go since being alone this time around. Waiting patiently to follow my brother later, in shaa Allah. Pray for the best for the nation and "redha" from Allah is the most important thing.

Polling day for a country allows "rakyat" to choose good leaders that are able to perform their responsibilities in good deeds.

Pray for the best In shaa Allah.....

Bersemangat untuk mengundi

Beratur panjang

Index finger

TRUST THINK POSITIVE

While browsing through the instagram, I came across the quotes which I must say very very true and meaningful. Definitely from life experiences. Absolutely nothing to do with hatred or grudge but it is a fact of life which I think right to share with everyone. Well, prevention is better than cure. Thanks to Baizurah Salleh for the post.

DON'T TRUST TOO MUCH
DON'T LOVE TOO MUCH
DON'T HOPE TOO MUCH
BECAUSE THAT TOO MUCH
WILL HURT YOU SO MUCH

Anyway, yesterday, right after receiving a phone call from the Bank Rakyat investment consultant, I thought why not give it a try. Straight away called the nearest Maybank  enquiring about refinancing(frankly,  this is not my 1st try though but i took it positively and get rid of all "keladak" and negative thinking). The officer incharged was very helpful and sincere enough to brief the actual scenario taking me as an example.  "Puan biar saya berterus terang aje ya. Saya kira situasi agak susah kerana ditambah lagi puan tiada pekerjaan tetap dan seorang ibu tunggal , jadi memang susah dan mereka agak strict tapi kalau puan nak cuba tiada masalah". Fair enough.

 The info has at least helped me to cancel one from my checkist for next week because I know it is not going to be a favourable outcome.

This reminds me of what Prof. Muhaya mentioned (more or less)in one of her TV 9 slot. "Jika kita dilanggar dan terpaksa membayar RM500 kita tidak perlu bergaduh dan marah marah tetapi sebaliknya berfikiran positif dan memikirkan bagaimana untuk mencari wang tersebut. She also mentioned about "rasa rendah diri, takut, putus asa adalah sifat keladak yang paling keladak".As in my case above, do not get frustrated but find the ways to solve the situation. First I have to get a job and the first issue tackled. Second, I have to change my status and I guess my problems solved!!?

In shaa Allah a great reminder but the point is when you are trying hard to get rid of all "keladak" the more you are gaining from others. Beyond your control."Bertepuk sebelah tangan tidak akan berbunyi" kerana hanya kita sahaja yang sibuk nyahkan semua keladak yang ada tetapi berurusan dengan peraturan dan manusia manusia  yang memandang status dan penuh keladak di hati mereka.and please, "don't judge a book by its cover".

 As a conclusion, hanya kebergantungan dengan Allah sahaja dan cukup hanya Allah sahaja penawar hati jika tidak di dunia in shaa Allah di kemudian hari.

Test is a bless

Its the same feeling when challenges cannot be avoided. When something happens just like that, it takes time to cure and support from everyone is a real theraphy. Sometimes you might think are you asking so much ? Are they sinceeely listening to your grievances or are they doing it just for the sake of doing it. Every day when I wake up I try to remind myself, enough of that but at times I can't avoid sharing with others. It is a relief.......

Nevertheless I am not strong enough to do so but I am trying. "redha", "ikhlas" and talk to Him. Yes I will but the moment you are trying hard to educate yourself the more you are in pain. Just because there will be more tests and challenges ahead.

After almost ten months, this is life, it hurts  so much, it is very bitter and full with pain. The demise of arwah Hanif is a real test to me and kids but surprisingly to some people thats not hard enough... I deserve more than that.

I thought everyone is pure and sincere thereafter but still there are some who are taking advantage, purposely creating unnecessary actions, "bukan apa, nak test saja Zan ni macamana melenting ke tidak itu saja". At this very moment of time, should I deserve to be tested again instead of getting support? What Allah tested me 10 months ago was still not worth it? Sampainya hati.......

"No matter how you behave with people around you, they will love you based on their NEED and their MOOD".

 I need to be strong for the kids but only He knows how I truly feel.........Anyway "ikhlaskan diri" dan "redha".

A good lesson to myself. Be sensitive and it is not  worth trusting  too much although you might have known someone for ages.You actually thought so but you didn't.

Anyway I started to believe that MONEY TALKS!.........

Harith Iskandar the entertainer claimed that woman is more intelligent than man. "If at all u are a tiny germ and stucked in a waman's brain, it is really breathless and congested in there.Full with memories, folders and files. Unlike the man's brain which is very spacious and even your voice is echoing..:) "
-Lawak ke dir.

I am a waman and you are right Mr. Harith. The surroundings are driving me crazy.


"Ikhlaskan dirimu dan redhakan segalanya"

Mix & Shoppe

It's Saturday.....

Quite free to update. Finally, just completed the page with the assistance of my girls. Please feel free to visit the page :)

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Mix-Shoppe/355307031238093

Have a nice day :D

The Manhattan Fish Market

Why are sardines the silliest fish in the sea?
Hi hi hi .....

A question printed on the serviette. ..

By the way it was great spending time and eating out with the kids. Exposed so much which Groupon offers since arwah was still around and great offers will be fully utilised by arwah. So, why not... and the only differnce now is that it is no longer with him...

Undeniable..setiap kali nak menjamu selera ada lah yang cacakap"kalau papa ada ni......" itulah yang menitis air mata.

The play land is just right opposite of Manhattan Fish Market restaurat. Hakim And Hanna had so much fun.

By the way I hope you guys are able to answer the question above ya or visit the restaurant and the answer is there for you:)

Festival Pengantin Malaysia

In Shah Alam, Dewan Raja Muda Musa, Kompleks Belia. It is a three day festival showcasing decorations from various participants, wedding caterers, wedding card designers e.g Image Creative Studios, Berkat DN Enterprise, Kumpulan Segi Seri, Mahligai Impian and not to forget Acik Catering (A business owned by my brother in law and his family).

www.acikcatering.com

PESERTA FESTIVAL

HIASAN YANG DIPAMIRKAN UNTUK MENARIK PARA PENGUNJUNG

PELBAGAI JENIS KEK DAN 'COOKIES' YANG DIJUAL

ACIK CATERING

There was a fashion show highlighting the latest wedding gowns and new designs as well. By the way, the best part was when Black Mentor performed three songs in the afternoon. Everyone enjoyed...........

Be Grateful

While waiting for  our turn in Klinik Haiwan Yap yesterday, a lady and her son came in bringing along two kittens with them.  Apparently, they claimed that the cute little kittens were found abandoned by the roadside. Alhamdulillah they were blessed when found by such a  kindhearted family who is really concerned and sincere. Hopefully many more will have compassion and sympathy towards  Allah's creatures, In shaa Allah. .......

By the way, it is not about the kittens that touched my heart, but her son. I didn't realise in the beginning until I noticed something was not right with him.

May I share my conversation with him while waiting for his mother being consulted by Dr. Yap.

Me : Siapa nama adik?
       : Amirul.

Me : Umur Amirul berapa tahun?

Amirul : 4 tahun...eh tak 3 tahun. (Looking at Amirul I was surprised with his answer coz he appeared to be at least 17 years of age :) ).

Me       : Amirul tak pegi sekolah ke?
Amirul : dah habis sekolah.
Me      : Oh umur 3 tahun tapi dah habis sekolah ye. Lepas tu buat apa.
Amirul : Ikut ayah gi wepair(repair) keta. Keluar tayar masuk tayar. Ayah keja wepair keta.

Then both of us went into the room full with cats including Casey. There were SEVEN altogether...

Me     : Amirul kira ada berapa ekor kucing semua dlm. bilik ni.

He started to count and answered,

Amirul : Ada 21 ekor sume, hi hi.....(Such a sincere respond and proudly claiming he counted them right).

Syakira and Hasya smiled at each other. I was right.  After a while his mom came out and she claimed to me, "Anak saya ni memang bising sebab dia ni OKU, tulah hyper sangat".

That moment was really meaningful. Amirul, such a jovial but a  less fortunate person. Nevertheless he is full of love, caring and concerned towards animals. We could see from his expressions and actions. As for his mother, I sincerely respect her as a  very strong person. Despite the fact that she is raising a less fortunate son who needs special care and attention, she is still willing to look after the abandoned kittens, sending them to the vet to ensure they are fit and healthy. I pray for their happiness and blessings from Allah.

A reminder to me, my kids and to all that we should  always be thankful, appreciate  and grateful to Allah for the blessings rendered to us......

"Look up to one who is greater in piety so you strive to be like him and look upon one who is below you in material status so that you may be thankful to Allah's Grace".In Shaa Allah.

CASEY

What was wrong with me? It shouldn't have happened if I did not turn back.The old folks used to remind us " kalau dah mulakan perjalanan jangan patah balik tak baik". It happened  last Thursday morning when Haziq wanted to attend his Co curriculum in school early in the mornig. It was fine at first but on our way he left something and insisted me to turn back. I did but not realising Casey our dearest cat was behind the car. Couldn't believe it and I unintentionally hit him!!

Seing Casey struggling for few seconds was never my dream. He was really writhing in pain when a neighbour passed by and claimed to us "he will die"....

Casey di dalam pejalanan ke klinik selepas kejadian.

I might sound crazy but to see him suffering makes me feel guilty. If only arwah is still around. Arwah Hanif adored him so much, in fact everyone does and will be my loyal mate listening to me especially during my grievances. As though he understands and responded well everytime talking to him.

Hurriedly brought him to the nearest vet and it was claimed Casey was hit seriously and the accident affected the whole nerve system.  It is a 50 50 chances, may lead him to coma or total paralysed. I can't believe it and the worst part is that I was the person who caused everything. Its only a cat but Casey means a lot. The day he was admitted and after listening to the explanation, both of us (Hasya and me) were extremely upset. It happened just like that in seconds but unfortunately Casey has to suffer for his entire life. How I wish.... and if only.....

It has been two days. When we visited Casey yesterday and the moment we entered the room he was responding and making noise. I really hope and pray for miracles. Allah is great and we're still hoping Casey will recover, one day........

Kami melawat Casey di Klinik Haiwan Yap.

Life's Like That

It has been almost a month that I last updated the blog.  Too occupied. Things which were compiled and submitted in order to the respective parties (govt. dept. and private sectors) are now pending. The processes are very complicated , time consuming which I personally think very annoying and to some I extent I feel they are purposely treating you unfairly. Unless if you are the Pn. Sri or Datin or maybe a well known celebrities or even someone who holds a title, then I am very certain their experiences are just like fairy tales.
Once everything is in order I wish to share the experiences with everyone especially single moms with no title just like me.

 Being alone for almost eight months allow me to see things differently.  No matter how strong you are trying to prove to your kids and others, I must admit that sometimes you are lying to yourself. Yes, as time goes by people are judging and supporting. A very cliche approach, "Ni dah ok ni , sabar banyak banyak semua ni ada hikmah. U kena fikir ada orang tu lagi susah suami meninggal tiba tiba , duit tak ada. U ni kira untungla sangatkan. Apa nak risau rumah, rezeki untuk ank ada, tak ada masalah, Bersyukur ajalah" Well thats about it..... thanks anyway . I must agree and I must feel gifted in a way ( if that's the best way to say it). Its kind of a relief when you share and listen to those who are in the same boat instead. Its not about not being thankful but its about feelings and different challenges. A friend of my sister apparently took seven years to accept it, and no doubt she was left with good health and wealth and she is a professor. In fact I think her children had settled down. In a way a person can only understands the true feelings when she experiences herself....

A person with a single title or to be more precise Ms. "J" is also an issue. You are always misjudged in every aspect as though you are a very dangerous creature to all wives out there. This is the fact although you are just a simple person.....(kalau Cik Ta tu lainla kan)
As life goes on you face different challenges and surroundings.

Hope to continue in my next post:)

Here I Go Again

A very close friend of Arwah Hanif finally made it. He (my children address him as Uncle Rolfe James) married to his one and only Ruhaizat.  Congratulations and we are happy for you Uncle Rolfe.  This event was one of Arwah's concerns and his demise did not stop us from fulfilling what he had planned before.

 My kids especially the last three are quite close to him. Haziq used to call him at times without my consent and I just got to know this when Rolfe informed me. Well kids, things are different now.

Anyway, the solemnisation and reception brought me back to one of my main activities those days, the ''hantaran". I was quite actively involved in the "hantaran" making until when my fourth child was born. Staying with my mother in law those years allowed me to share and explore and received orders from weddings. Arwah supported and he assisted me all the way to "Kedai Bunga Reben" and Chow Kit Road for the flowers. 

 In fact, I was always  incharged of preparing hand corsages for the farewell dinner, corsages for the VVIPs , stage decorations for the concert when teaching in Seri Inai Senior Hulu Klang almost fourteen years ago.. There was one year during Mothers Day when I helped the students with the flower arrangements.  I personally enjoyed the experiences.

Here are some photos of the "hantaran" and yes I started to enjoy doing it again. To my family, friends and to all, thank you for supporting and I am now ready and  waiting for the orders.  Please keep that in mind ya....:)

Kek dari Kusen Snack

Adat Melayu kekalkan iringan Bunga Pahar  dari pihak lelaki

Di masjid, Majlis Akad Nikah. Bukan pengantin tapi Chef Ismail pula yang jadi tumpuan

Kuala Terengganu 2

It was quite busy for the past few weeks and I still do.  Taking a little bit of my time to update the blog. Our Kuala Terengganu trip was from the 29th to 31st of January 2013, six of us and my two nieces Syamim and Syarah came along.

The journey took 55 minutes from LCCT to Kuala Trengganu and Warisan Kasih Homestay was our choice. It is a family business and we were overwhelmed by the kind and warm hospitality given by Tg. Munirah (TG). A great experience and thank you so much TG.

Dihadapan Homestay - tingkat atas. Di tingkat bawah Cafe nasi Dagang dan Kedai Dobi.

http://homestaywarisankasih.blogspot.com/

Apart from the accommodation, she was kind enough to provide us with the transportation and became our informal tourist guide.


Located in a strategic location it was easier for us to commute from one place to another. Travelling with Bas Bandar  was also a different experience.

Bas dengan ukiran kayu

Di dalam Bas Bandar

A wailking distance to Pasar Payang. The Central Market of Kuala Terengganu is a must-visit place. Located just by the Sungai Trengganu and we were feeling great walking along while enjoying the gentle sea breeze. .Pasar Payang serves both as wet market and as a trade centre for the local community and tourists.

The entrance is filled with cycle rickshaws/trishaws or locally known as 'beca' lining up showcasing the decorations of all kinds. I really salute the peddlers on the effort they have to put to carry many people around the town in a day to earn for a living. One 'pakcik' claimed that he has been peddling for almost forty years. The next day Syamim refused to take 'beca' (due to the feeling of sympathy) and asked TG to fetch us instead. Anyway the kids enjoyed.

The ground floor offers variety of local food and delicacies, mostly made from fish. We were welcomed by the ever smiling ladies inviting us to buy their keropok, akok, pulut inti, tepung gomak and many more. Thus, our breakfast were filled  with deliciousness, an experience for every taste bud for sure. Kilos of duku were also bought since it cost me only RM5 for 3 kg.We bought 18 kgs. and brought some home esp. as a token of appreciation  to Ai, Lily and Asyraf  for sending and fetching us to the airport.

A vast of traditional textiles, brasswares, souvenirs and handcrafts can be seen on the first flloor of the central market. The rule of thumb is of course the bargaining power and I think I made it quite handsomely, the way my mom used to practice. There is Bazar Warisan just opposite Pasar Payang, more comfortable and spacious shopping outlet but its existence cannot deny the ambiance preserved by the market.  

Salah sebuah kedai di Bazaar Warisan

The girls captured several amazing snapshots for their remembrance.

Istana Maziah

   

Terengganu is also well known for its abundance of rice based dishes such as 'nasi dagang, nasi kunyit, nasi berlauk, nasi lemak and nasi kerabu' apart from 'laksam', 'pulut lepa', 'sata', 'keropok lekor' and relatively inexpensive. Trust me, we tried almost all, from pasar payang to hawkers stall selling hot 'sata, and 'pulut panggang' to varieties of 'celup tepung'. You can try the 'keropok lekor celup tepung' at home guys :)

Terengganu Trade Centre (TTC) was suggested by TG for our dinner. Again, the kids enjoyed great variety of local cuisine.

Gambar Syakira bersama Adam seorang budak kecil  yang bercakap di dalam loghat Terengganunya.  Kami sedang menunggu TG sambil menikmati Mister Potato.  Tiba-tiba Adam menghampiri Syakira dan meminta "Nak sebutir, nak sebutir". Kali kedua  Adam hampiri Syakira sekali lagi dengan RM1 dan meminta sebutir lagi.Adam tanya "Beli mana ni" dan Syakira jawab dari Giant. Kemudian, soalan kedua pula ditujukan kepada Syakira sambil menunjukkan jarinya ke mulut Syakira yang menampakkan 'braces'nya dan bertanya sekali lagi, "Yang itu pulak beli mana" Syakira pun melayan dan menjawab "beli di Giant jugak".  :) Hmm, bijak budak Terengganu ni......

The next day in the afternoon TG guided us to the local attractions such as Masjid Kristal which is also near to Pusat Tamadun Islam. 

Then, we spent few hours at Pantai Batu Buruk enjoying all kinds of 'celup tepung' bought from a very popular stall nearby (once visited by Jalan-Jalan Cari Makan) and headed home to Warisan Kasih Homestay just before sunset.

Warung ini pernah dikunjungi JJCM

The third day was spent buying some souvenirs and a quick visit to Keropok Losong and  enjoyed our nasi dagang from the cafe downstairs for the last time before leaving.

 Before getting back to the airport late in the evening, TG stopped over at a restaurant for our quick dinner. 

Tg. Munirah (TG) di hujung sebelah kiri

The flight was at 9.20pm and reached Kula Lumpur safely at around 10.15pm.

It was only a short normal domestic flight and just to
Kuala Trengganu, but the excitement experienced by the kids is my true happiness. I am certain Arwah will feel the same way too   if he is still around.

Hope to plan for more interesting visits next time........:)