Monday, 10 July 2017


You left without explanation. No clue, no sign, and all i know u are gone. You slipped silently with no goodbyes and we realized we had lost u forever. An unforgetable 11th July 2012 and today is 11th July 2017 🇲🇾. Its been five years...

A million words will never bring u back, neither would a million tears . People say there is a reason, people say that time will heal. But all I know, you will never actually understand somrthing until it actually happens to you.

Suratan atau kebetulan. Tak sangka pula malam tadi termimpi. Questions asked to you, asking why we were isolated, ignored lately. U remained silent. It ended just like that . Tiba- tiba tersedar, mimpi rupanya.  Tengok jam, baru pukul 4.30 pagi.
A new phrase from everyone I meet, " dah 5 tahun , sekejap aje ya, zan pun dah senang dah, anak2 pun semua dah besar2". Semoga itu menjadi doa buat saya and anak2. Apapun ank2 semua masih belum boleh berdikari, masih belum habis alam persekolahan. Hidup perlu diteruskan. It is challenging though.

Semoga Allah ampunkan segala dosa arwah Mohd Hanif, semua yang telah pergi dan semua yang masih meneruskan kehidupan.

Yang masih hidup meneruskan kehidupan dan jangan lupa mendoakan yang telah tiada. Aamiin......

Thursday, 9 March 2017

Words of Knowledge

Seven Superb Sentences.....worth sharing. Im inspired and hope u do...The Sentence by Napolean is something to appreciate, not to ignore the others too.

Never  play  with the feelings of  others, because  you may win the game,.. but the risk is that you will surely  lose the person for a  life time.

The world suffers a lot, not because of the violence of bad people, but because  of the silence of good people!

I am thankful to all those
who said NO to me, as it's
because of them I did it

      *Abraham Lincoln*
If friendship is your weakest
point, then, you are the
strongest person in the

Laughing faces do not
mean that  there is absence
of sorrow!,... but it means that they  have the ability to deal with it.

      *William  Arthur*
Opportunities are like
Sunrises, if you wait far too
long you can miss them.

When you are in the light,
everything follows you,...but
when you enter into the
dark,...even your own shadow leaves you. ✨✨

Tuesday, 14 February 2017


What does it mean? The use of words that mean the opposite of what u really wanna say eapecially to insult someone.

A typical way of attacking the other party whom u think has hurt ur feelings.  It may be a spontanious action or vice versa. I experienced that too, unexpectedly.  By the way it depends on a person. If u think by being sarcastic  could be able to let go the grudges and dissatisfaction, then go ahead practising it. Its a negative habit though. But no doubt,  sometimes it works, sometimes it hurts.
"Dulu masa mula2 kena musibah dulu asal telefon menangis, menangis tapi bila dah senang , terus senyap". Macamtu lah lebih kurang ayat sarkastik pada saya. Apakan daya, itulah namanya dugaan, sabar tu perlu. Pada saya kalau di praktikkan esp depan ank2, tak bagus juga.  Janganlah salahkan mereka bila satu hari mulut mereka pula kenakan kita sebab kita cikgunya. Bak kata pepatah, mulut ni lebih tajam dari mata pisaukan. Betul ke ayat saya ni....

Saya sebenarnya lebih terpanggil dengan isu buku kata2 Fattah Amin, pelakon yang sedang meningkat naik. Tapi sayangnya jadi viral bahan ejekan dan ketawa kebanyakan manusia di muka bumi Malaysia ni. It describes our Malaysian mentality. Sangat suka menghakimi semua perkara tapi cara negatif. Saya menulis blog kadang2 untuk memberikan nasihat secara tersirat esp kepada ibu tunggal seperti saya. Mungkin juga ada yang jadikannya sebagai bahan ketawa. Wallahualam.

Yang lagi hairan bila syarikat kapal terbang gah pun dengan sarkastiknya menggunakan kata2 beliau untuk menterjemahkan markting strategy mereka. Padan muka akhirnya ada yang response balik dan mengenakan syarikat penerbangan tu. "Angan2 nak naik kapal terbang bila dah dapat tiba2 "hang", tiba2 harga jadi mahal!".(macamtulah lebih kurang response bagi balik pada ayat sarkastik airline tu). Serves it right!!!

Kita selalu lantang bercakap atau menulis tanpa memikirkan perasaan orang lainkan. Main cakap aje, lepas tu tak mengaku , kata mana ada. Persekitaran yang tidak sihat jika dibiarkan. When u think about it, Fattah Amin does not lose a penny, but he gains instead! If not in monetary terms (i dont think im right), but this is a good way of being famous in this wide world. I rarely keep myself updated with the lifestyles of the rich and famous people, but because of the book issue it is indirectly takes my attention! Itu baru saya seorang , kalau ramai lagi macam saya bertambah famouslah beliau. Artis dan populariti, barulah boleh berjayakan.

Morale of the story, to Fatah Amin keeps writing! It makes u being more recognised and famous and the most vital one is tht, ur words can inspire others. Yang dah biasa buang masa tak tentu arah kat klcc melepak tanpa hala tuju, berborak kosong kat klcc mungkin ketawakan u. Tapi just imagine those who stays in the kampung jauh nun dihujung kedah, sudah pasti mereka terkesan dan jadi pembakar semangat untuk maju dan berjaya. Apapun, keep on writing aslkan yang baik2 saja kerana bukan hanya inspire orang yang susah, tetapi juga itulah juga bekalan di sana nanti. Bila kita didik ilmu yang baik ada ganjarannya, tapi syaratnya yang baik2 saja.

To all Malaysian, time to change, our mentality, sudah2 lah perlekehkan usaha orang, rezki irang, selalu berbaik sangka, cakap yang elok2 , fikir yang elok2. Syukur , sabar dan redha. Itu yang penting.

Thursday, 2 February 2017


As salam and hi to all,
My nephew, Duan shared this piece of article in our family whtts app. I find it very interesting and meaningful to share with everyone. The real facts of life to all of us . Enjoy reading!!

A man married a beautiful girl. He loved her very much. One day she developed a skin disease. Slowly she started to lose her beauty. It so happened that one day her husband left for a tour. While returning he met with an accident and lost his eyesight. However their married life continued as usual. But as days passed she lost her beauty gradually. Blind husband did not know this and there  was not any difference in their married life. He continued to love her and she also loved him very much.
One day she died. Her death brought him great sorrow.
He finished all her last rites and wanted to leave that town.
A man from behind called and said, now how will you be able to walk all alone? All these days your wife used to help you.
He replied, I am not blind. I was acting,  because if she knew l could see her ugliness it would have pained her more than her disease. So I pretended to be blind. She was a very good wife. I only wanted to keep her happy.

Moral:- *Some times it is good for us to act blind and ignore one another's short comings, in order to be happy*

*No matter how many times the teeth bite the tongue, they still stay together in one mouth. That's the spirit of FORGIVENESS. Even though the eyes don't see each other, they see things together, blink simultaneously and cry together. That's UNITY." May the Lord grant us all the spirit of forgiveness and togetherness*.

 1. _''Alone I can 'Say' but together we can 'talk'._
  2. _"Alone I can 'Enjoy' but together we can celebrate_

  3.  _'Alone I can 'Smile' but together we can 'Laugh'._

   *That's the BEAUTY of Human Relations. We are nothing without each other*

            *QUOTE OF THE DAY*
_The razor blade is sharp but can't cut a tree; the axe is strong but can't cut the hair._
   *MORALS*; *Everyone is important according to his/her unique purpose,Never look down on anyone unless you are admiring their shoes*.

"If we can find forgiveness in our hearts for those who have caused us hurt and injury, we will rise to a higher level of self-esteem and well-being".😊😊

Monday, 17 October 2016


Hi and Salam to all dearest readers,

10 years ago (2006)

Its Hanna's 10th birthday and it is Sunday! She's still a kid, longing for birtday wishes, presents, a birthday cake, most importantly to throw a birthday party and share with her friends!! With that kind of face, tears running down her cheeks makes me think twice not to hold one.

Next Saturday is Kak Hasya's 19th Birthday, Mama is getting the same idea of throwing a birthday gathering, two in one. It might sound not so personal Hasya,having to share with ur lil sis Hanna all the time, but trust me, that is all Mama can afford to do.

Reminds me 10 years ago, when Dr. Husna said to me "congrats ,  dah 6 minggu ". At that moment, for the very first time I received the news in confusion. Tak ready atau tak mampu nak ada yang kelima.Situasi sekeliling dan keadaan ekonomi yang tidak menjannjikan apa2. .  Terus inform arwah , and kata nya rezki dari Allah. Alhamdulillah. Ada orang bertahun2 berharap tapi belum ada rezki.

Both of us faced the challenges . The time when we were so occupied taeching in many places for the sake of the family and the baby i was carrying. It was a real hard work, a real stress. As usual , My "morning sickness" was thruout the day for almost 9 months. Kalu muntah tu tak kira pagi petang siang malam. Masuk je makanan within seconds keluar balik. That was tiring.

I was few months pregnant when both of us were offered to teach on part time basis. Guess wht? We had to travel to and fro to Pulau Indah! Kilometres away from home . Bukan berkereta, tapi dengan RXZ, arwah  dan saya membonceng dibelakang dengan Hanna yang dalam kandungan. Seawal 7 pagi dah keluar untuk hadir kelas pagi. Dengan diri yang tersangat lemah, loya, tiada pilihan tapi sandar pada arwah.  Bila lori besar2 passed by,  huh sejuknya tak boleh cakap. Itulah pengalaman kami berdua untuk satu semester. Sampai je Inpens Kolej kelam kabut cari toilet muntah.   Next sem tu Arwah Hanif saja yang took the offer to continue teaching. I did not. Kenangan 10 tahun dulu. Setiap rezki di beri Allah berbeza. Ada yang kita tengok bersenang lenang tak payah berhempas pulas tapi hidup penuh kemewahan. Tinggal di kawasan yang boleh dikategorikan elitlah di klang ni, teruja tengok mereka tak payah berpayah jerih. Bila nak pergi mengajar di I-System untuk kelas pukul 2 pula, bonceng dengan arwah.  Balik time pula, jalan kaki dari kolej dan ambil bas balik. Kadang2 buat muka tebal telefon kakak( quite frequent) minta tolong fetch. Itu bila dah quite late when classes finished at around 9.00 pm. Macmtulah routine ke sana ke sini dengan Hanna inside me!

 Arwah adalah seorang kuat semangat. dia terus mengajar ke sana ke mari. Bila kelas malam dengan RXZ lah dia ke Pulau Indah . Masa tu memng tak boleh tidur sampailah dengar bunyi motor sampai rumah pukul 11 malam. Jalan yang penuh dengan lori2 besar di situ. . Nak call dia atas motor. Jadi tunggu ajelah sampai dia selamat sampai.

Hari berganti bulan sampailah masa melahirkan.  Nak discharge dari hospital! Akak juga mangsa keadaan. Terpaksa lunaskan bil dan bawa balik baby baru dengan Unsernya. Masa tu tak habis2lah minta tolong my siblings. Tidak semua yang tahu keadaan sebenar hidup kami.  Sampai satu hari Akak datang rumah dan beri sedikit duit dan both of us cried. "Zan, orang nampak macam tak susah duduk rumah kat kawasan ni, rumah ni, tapi hang ni masuk program bersamamu pun macam layak". If u read this, ingat lagi tak kak what u said? I will always remember it , how we wnet through the most difficult phase of life dengan  arwah. Tapi biasalah, masa tu ada yang buat tak tahu aje. Tolong dan tanya khabar jauh sekali.

Tapi lama kelamaan  perasaan cuak tu diganti dengan penuh yakin dan percaya setiap sesuatau dugaan ada hikmahnya.  Dah takdirkan kisah hidup kami perlu melalui segala kepayahan dulu. Lepas Hanna lahir 16 Oktober 2006, sedikit demi sedikit kami berusaha memulihkan keadaan kehidupan. Ank itu pembawa rezki. Memang betul. Dan dari tidak fully emloyed masa tu, arwah dapat tawaran as a full time teaching staff. Alhamdulillah Syukur.......

Today, 16 October 2016, dearest Hanna turns 10. May your life is always blessed and filled with happiness. Sanah Helwah Hanna...!

As a there is a saying,
 But, In my opinion our past is as important and the best teacher, the experiences we had enables us to be wiser in the future.

To be continued.... long enough for now.

Wednesday, 10 August 2016

A Piece of Paper

Quite dislike the idea of sorting documents and bills. Simply because, it brings up memories...
Found this piece of paper safely in one of the files, and again, to share.......
Al - Fatihah...

Sunday, 10 July 2016

All about Life

Checked my previous post. Its been a while. A year ago. After four years, life is getting too occupied, with commitments and responsibilities.

As at 11th July, exactly four years ago, a final goodbye form arwah Hanif. Accepted the fate in confusion, a sudden shocking news. No matter what, life has to go on. Seeing the children grow from toddlers to teenagers, witnessing their changes from one phase of life to another, what a great expereince. But when certain things not settled as planned, when the children strted to raise their dissatifaction, a feeling of confusion mingled in my mind. Have I done my role brilliantly? Am i a great mom and dad to them? Am i a failure? Lagi2 pula bila ank2 tanya why cant i do this, kenapa dia boleh , kenapa I tak boleh. Have i being biased to my children? There are things that mama cant be able to explain, a matter of being obedient and thats about it. End of discussion. This is a real challenge. Memang , it is fated, dugaan dari Allah terima dengan redha, jangan berburuk sangka tapi kekadang teremosi juga. Nak bawa berbincang dah tak ada. Typical mom i suppose, bila stuck  kita mesti cakap "pegi tanya papa/abah" kan.
Bila tengok ibu tunggal yang dapat didik ank2 berjaya dunia dan akhirat, teruja, rasa confident and motivated. Tapi  bila tengok pula ibu tunggal ni ditinggalkan ank2 jadi tak tentu arah, menyusahkan semua, dah rasa stress pulak. trust me, the feeling of fear remins until they grow and mature. Serah pada Allah sepenuh hati, itu yang penting but then melihat macm2 yang jadi jadi cemas juga.

To thise followers and friends who read my post, please do not ignore ur loved ones if they are in confusion. Especially wanitalah. Sangat fragile. Kalau tak kerana support dari family saya sendiri, jiran tetangga dan  rakan2 arwah saya pun tak tahu apa yang saya dah buat 4 tahun leps. Moral support, contribution, sponsors dari wang ringgit sampailah kpd makan pakai, hanya Allah yang balas jasa kalian semua.Masa tulah support, muhasabah diri tu penting. I took time to settle. And I am still working on it. Waris2 amat memainkan peranan sebab ini adalah amanah, bukan isteri simati saja. Amanah kalau tak baut akan dipersoalkan. Saya ada terbaca tulisan seorang ustazah, terutama si penerima harta pusaka. Ini semua penting dalam membantu keluarga yang ditinggalkan membentuk semula keyakinan diri dalam meneruskan hidup , tak kiralah banyak duit ke atau tidak. Itu tidak akan menafikan tjawab si penerima harta pusaka. Sekurang2 nya kalau ditinggalkan berharta kuranglah beban waris. A gentle reminder to all so everyone plays the role accordingly. In shaa Allah. Banyak terjadi kan kes2 yang tak sepatutnya. Mohon dijauhkan.

Baru2 ni attended a reunion getaway, with arwah's school matesThey enjoyed esp the boys.  Teruja.Haziq and Hakim felt ada uncle2 yang tanya khabar beria2, menepuk2 belakang mereka, berkongsi cerita tentang kenangn mereka bersama arwah di sekolah. They missed the time.Mana tak nya, Hakim yang memang selalu tak cakap banyk tapi kali ni, begitu  teruja cerita kat kami dalam kereta otw balik. Mama is still mama takkan sama kan. A kinda man to man talk and they seemed to enjoy the moment. Pakcik and makcik yang ada pula sentiasa sibuk katanya, bukan tak ingat nak jenguk tapi semua sibuk . Raya dah masuk hari ke 6 pun ada yang tak sempat jumpa ya. Alhamdulillah kalau ada ingatan pada ank2 buah waris ni. Memng zaman sekarang ni membuatkan kekangan masa. Yang penting tanggungjawab tak dilupakan. In shaa Allah.

Masih di bulan Syawal. Wp mama ni OKU sikit kali ni , tapi kita pergi jugalah beraya sini sana sikit. Syakira teruja nak pergi beraya lagi katanya. Nantilah kita tengok kalau ada rezki ya. Please pray for my speedy recovery to continue with my daily responsibililies as mom and dad. So many things to catch up and may Allah grant all of us with iman, sabar , taqwa , health, wealth and happiness.

To Arwah Hanif dan yang telah pergi, semiga ditempatkan dikanagan para solihin. Aamiin dan Al Fatihah...

Selamat Hari Raya . Mohon maaf diatas segala salah silap arwah dan kami sekeluarga.