Tuesday, 25 September 2012

First and Last......

It was around 9.00 pm last night when Hanna was getting ready to bed. “Hanna do you remember papa?” . She replied, “Yes I do when we went to Jakarta with papa”. Hanif travelled a lot not only domestically but also internationally.  Kids are eager to join but school and tuition classes will always be the reasons why they couldn’t and I have to be with them.
 It was different this time. Hanif insisted me to follow him. It was truly hectic and restless for him. Earlier was Kota Kinabalu (KK), the next day to Australia for a week and the very same day we travelled .(The cab sent him home in the morning from Australia and sent us back to KLIA in the afternoon to Jakarta). It was after sixteen years that I last took an international flight and of course first time for Hanna. Both of us were too excited when we were brought to the Plaza Premium Lounge located at the Satellite Building while waiting for our departure.

 Variety of food and beverages were served, Hanna enjoyed her ice cream.

We stayed for 3 nights in JW Marriott Jakarta and flew back to Kuala Lumpur on Friday (6th July 2012). 

 With bulk of chocolates from the duty free shops, we headed home.


Along the way, Hanif said “I have always wanted to bring you and the kids, so from now on you will follow me wherever I go okay. Next trip will be to the States (tentatively end September) and then we shall bring all of them to KK end of this year, and In Sha Allah to Perth next year. Syakira also needs a trip back home to her kampung".

To my surprise I received a BBM last two days from someone to Hanif (I still keep arwah’s Blackberry and continue using it). Apparently, it was from his friend from KK. She was shocked to hear about Hanif and informed me about his plan to bring us there.  I thought that was why she called to confirm.

The kids were so eager and excited when papa informed them about his plans especially four of them since they were left behind.

We remembered all his promises and have always wanted to follow him but we only plan and Allah decides. I never thought Jakarta was the first and the last international flight for the family.  Five days later he left us forever...........

To my children, if Allah wills it, mama will try to make papa’s dream come true.............


  1. kak zan.. i'm afraid i can't continue reading your chapter of life ... :-((( listening to the background song already broke my heart and brought tears to my eyes ( really ... ) cos' i feel you and the lost ...

  2. Dear Aza, this is truly from my heart, it is very hard to foerget but the supports given by u all makes me stronger and stronger, In Sha Allah....

  3. Mak Suzan this is duan,when I was 10 years old I punch the mango and ARWAH had scold me I was very shy to talk or see him I never thought that ARWAH could not even talk to me

  4. Innalillah & takziah atas pemergian Allahyarham. Moga ALLAH berikan keampunan & rahmat Nya keatas Allahyarham & kesabaran kpd family yg ditinggalkan. Al Fatihah

  5. “I have always wanted to bring you and the kids, so from now on you will follow me wherever I go okay.
    Sesungguhnya kita merancang tapi ALLAH menentukan segala2nya...Knowing both of you give me the inspiration to build up back with my new family....Kak Zan ...u always give me an advice to be patient and strong to go through all kind of things in my life...i owe u so much...mcm tu juga dgn arwah Abg Hanif...as a moderator dia seorg yg sgt bertanggungjawab, teliti dan menepati janji...sbg kwn dia sgt menghormati teman2 atau sesiapa shj di kelilingnya...Saya sgt menghargai hubungan silaturrahim ini...walau kemana sy pergi kalian tidak pernah sy lupakan...ank2 Husna Syakira Akim Hafiz...Hanna...berbuka puasa dgn bubur sagu kak zan...sy teringin masa mengandung...Moga ALLAHH swt cucuri rahmat ke atas arwah abf Hanif...ampuni dosanya dan tempatkan dia di kalangan org beriman dan sole...Kak Zan kuatkan semangat ...tabahkan hati...cekalkan Iman...Insyaallah ALLAH sentiasa memberkati Kak Zan sekeluarga...Amin....Azian Binti Ahmad

    1. Terima kasih atas sokongan dan ingatan yang berterusan Yan. Sangat menghargainya. Kadang-kadang sokongan rakan rakan adalah lebih bermakna dan lebih ikhlas. K Zan juga mendoakan kebahagiaan Yan sekeluarga hingga ke syurga Allah..