Hanna and her wish

"Mama hari ni kita pergi kubur papa ke?" Early in the morning today. I just agreed but since a last minute order for 10 big jars was received this morning, I thought Hanna could wait patiently.

Alhamdulillah we made it in the last day of Ramadhan this year to fullfill Hanna's wish and for the second time celebrating Aidil Fitri without arwah. Alfatihah........

It is a different feeling...

Wish you all a happy and peacefull Eid ul Fitr Mubarak, and may Allah bless and reward all of you with His blessings.

11 JULY

Last year on the same date, 11 July 2012 changed our whole life. That phone call.... from his workplace was never expected. Puan Salina from the HR department at around 2.30pm informed me about Arwah being collapsed and the police  had arrived. "Saya nak inform suami Puan dah meninggal dunia".He had gone forever without saying goodbye. His last promise that morning was to Hanna "hari ni nak balik awal sikit and nanti kita jumpa ya", while hugging each other. Afrer few days, in her conversation with Kak Syakira, "papa cakap nak balik awal tapi tak balik pun, terus meninggal".

Before the phone call was received, packets of rice were delivered to our doorstep and I straight away asked Haziq to text arwah and informed him. Nevertheless he did not reply. I thought he might be very busy in the office after being in Australia and Jakarta for the past two weeks. Maybe later...I was wrong. He was dying and later we were informed about his demise.

Di dalam tempoh setahun pelbagai pengalaman baru ditempuhi. Semua dilihat sangat susah untuk ditempuhi.Masa berlalu dan hidup diteruskan dengan sokongan pelbagai pihak walaupun rupanya baru tersedar ada yang mengambil kesempatan di atas pemergiannya. Bantuan yang dihulurkan menjadi ungkitan sebagai pengorbanan kepada kami sekeluarga.

Apapun sokongan ikhlas dari orang lain, sahabat handai, jiran dan saudara mara mengatasi segalanya. Terina kasih tidak terhingga kepada semua yang ikhlas membantu kami kerana Allah. Hanya Dia yang membalas jasa kalian yang tidak tersebut nama-nama semua.

Contohnya, ketika sedang sangat kecewa dan putus asa diuji,  terasa seperti dikejutkan dengan nasihat yang sangat ikhlas dari kakak yang agak strict. Seperti terbangun dari tidur, thanks a lot kak. Bila begitu sedih dan pilu Lely lebih approachable untuk dikongsi together with my girls. Thanks to all and of course semua yang tidak jemu membantu. If uncle Ai,  Asyraf and Aiman selalu jadi mangsa but now I have Syamim to bring me everywhere. Selalu juga menyusahkan Rolfe dan Ruhaizat. In shaa Allah we will try our best.

To UNIRAZAK, lecturers, staff. Arwah's students,thanks a million.Tambahan pula hampir setiap minggu Syakira balik dengan pelbagai cerita dan sokongan dari rakan-rakannya juga.

Hidup diteruskan demi membesarkan kelima lima anak kami. Sayalah Papa dan Mama dan mencuba yang terbaik.

Peluang berjumpa dan mendapat nasihat dari orang yang berfikiran pisitif sangat membantu. Prof. Dr. Muhaya memberi nasihat yang sangat menyentuh jiwa dan in shaa Allah akan dijadikan panduan hidup.

"Bila orang buat kita, uji kita tak apa sebab dia nak bagi pahala tapi bila orang puji kita kena berhati hati takut timbul riak. Selalu ingat Allah ada dan orang-orang yang banyak keladak kita jauhkan".

Berharap dan berusaha untuk kehidupan yang lebih baik walaupun hanya sementara. Harap tidak disalah anggap kerana keadaan sudah berbeza, perlu labih berhati- hati dan tidak terlalu mempercayai. Menjauhkan diri dan bersikap biasa biasa sahaja adalah lebih selamat.

Semoga arwah suami Allahyarham Mohd Hanif dicucuri rahmat. Al fatihah.....

My Deal

Baking prevails blogging. That's what I can say for the past three weeks and until today.

Alhamdulillah it is almost a year of his demise but I am certainly surrounded and supported by my parents, siblings, relatives and friends. May Allah bless us all. Thank you to UNIRAZAK and staff for the support, they are still contacting, sharing stories and saying hello to us. Its the thought that counts and we appreciate so much. Sometimes my daughters commented, " Ma, kadang-kadang tu terasa orang luar yang lebih concern and ambil berat tentang family kita. Sedih jugak kan". Yes, I supposed they are certainly right but my dear girls, do remember Allah is always there for us.

Back to Papa cookies, my children are very excited with the practical training for the past few weeks, from production and operation, packaging, labeling, financing, promotion, marketing as well as delivering. Syukur alhamdulillah for the effort. If only he is still around, Arwah must be proud of them....
There was one time during Hari Raya when Syakira was in Standard Six, preparing Mee Goreng for our guests. Arwah was very excited announcing to everyone that her daughter was the great cook...

Papa cookies still go on and is currently busy fulfilling demand for pre-Ramadhan. Orders for Hari Raya are also in the list and orders are still welcome. Please feel free to contact (017-3222455/ 017- 3333315).

Our thank you to Syamim Jannah for her effort that Papa cookies is able to be featured in the mydeal online sales.

http://www.mydeal.com.my/deals/kuala-lumpur/ending-soon-30-delicious-homemade-papa-cookies-choose-rm7-1-jar-rm20-3-jars-deliv

Papa Cookies

It was  few weeks after Arwah Hanif passed away when I had the opportunity to meet Dr. Siti Mariah. Sure enough I found myself in a deep conversation with her. We shared about life experieces, and even cried together. The conversation that  we had was only about half an hour but it was truly meaningful, honest and worthwhile. She inspired me and I thought there is no harm trying now.

"Kita diduga dengan pelbagai cara tapi apapun mesti ada hikmah. Dari apa yang saya dengar tentang kisah you ni, saya yakin you boleh, you are educated and I can see that you are very concerned about your kids instead of your ownself. My experiences meeting with single mothers vary. Ada yang ok tapi ada yang fokus kepada diri sendiri, sibuk dengan fesyen terkini dengan gaya yang berlebihan. But I hope you can think and react wisely and this is about the right time for you to seek support from your family and friends. Bukan ambil kesempatan tapi dengan apa yang u ada and your strength, do something and im sure they will support you if they are sincere".

Then I thought this is it. As mentioned in my previous post, my part is done and am now waiting for feedbacks. So why not give it a go. And my girls are also excited about it and they suggested the name Papa Cookies (its all about remembering Arwah Papa).  For our first try it is the Corn flakes homemade Cookies.

Our first week of trying and alhamdulillah we receive orders. Thank you so much to my children for your support and being loyal commenters along with Acik(superb in food testing but yet to order:) and Buji, to Syamin Jannah for the handsome marketing plan, Wee, neighbours, Kak Lina and Suzie, Ms. Leilanie, Ms. Alicia and others. We appreciate your support....Thanks again.

Untuk order yang seterusnya

Patience and Understanding

The processes that I am going through are really new to me. From the day and month of arwah Hanif's demise (July 2012) until today I am still in the midst of tackling one issue to another. Almost a year and along the way I received support, preasures, tests, critics, and positive comments. Accused of being ignorant and not efficient enough to settle things was one of those.Masha Allah, a real challenge! (Sepatutnya cairkan semua aset arwah, bayar hutang kemudian bahagi ikut faraid). One of the comments, simply commenting and not realising this is what Suhaizan has been doing for almost a year till today.

 Sincerely, every single step takes time and tested my patience too. I do not purposely delaying but the procedures and protocoles made me. For months my routines are making telephone calls, visiting Government offices and banks, faxing, sending emails, etc. Therefore, please understand and it is not wise to judge me blindly. It is hard to forget because it hurts but I try to remember it as a good lesson in the future. I am just hamba Allah and am not perfect.

Not only that there are five children to deal with. Hanna's first year of school, Syakira and her PLKN issue and many more. I must thank my friend who assisted us and it was then settled.

By the way to some people who are well experienced and proffesionals, they commented favourably (Kira Zan cepat ya submit dokumen dan dapat settle dengan LA letter, Mahkamah Syariah, EPF  tak sampai setahun, enam bulan lebih dah terima surat perintah mahkamah). Huh, what a relief to hear. A sincere and relevant comments from those who are aware of the processes instead of simply commenting as earlier, right?

I must agree and syukur alhamdulillah compared to those who are still struggling to settle the issue for years, disagreement among siblings, fighting for rights and so on....

To be frank, my  part is done for the time being. Right after the hearing in the land office (several copies of LA letters obtained from them), it is a beginning of another process. Showing proudly the LA to the respective parties and yes I have approached until last week, finally. Puspakom and JPJ done, visit to Inland Revenue done, other Government offices done, and meeting the lawyer done. Nothing else but to wait patiently for the feedbacks and  not waiting blindly instead. Every week I am contacting them for the latest updates. Trust me, I make a pool of new acquaintances along the way...

Please do not get me wrong again. Iam not delaying and denying rights but this is absolutely beyond my control. Hope things can get settled as soon as possible.

The experiences taught me a lot. It is wiser to communicate with the people who appreciate and help sincerely.

Nothing is better than getting redha from Him while going on with life with the children, parents, family and friends healthily and happily. At the same time,In shaa Allah arwah Hanif is always with us. This morning right after she woke up hanna shared her dream, again about arwah. "Ada orang ambil papa bawa balik papa lepas tu kita duduk dengan dia dalam bilik, cium papa, Hakim dengan kak Syakira aje tak ada".........

 Redha, ikhlaskan diri, berusaha, mengenali hati budi setiap insan di sekeliling, lebih berhati-hati dan bergantung sepenuhnya kepada Allah.

"Be patient and understanding. Life is too short to be vengeful and malicious".

What a Day

A fine Tuesday morning, same house chores school bags, uniforms and laundry before leaving for KL. A smooth journey heading to Wangsa Maju when suddenly the air cond was not functioning. As soon as we passed the Jalan Duta Toll then I realized the lights at the dashboard were all turned on. Reminds me of what arwah claimed that this is a warning and something is wrong. Syakira contacted the mechanic and advised to turn off the air cond, keep on driving till i get to find a workshop. Do not turn off the engine or we'll be stranded by the roadside.

Finally reached Wangsa Maju and quickly searched for a workshop. The belt needed to be replaced.  While the mechanic did the jump start he was suddenly losing control,the car reversed and the driver's door hit and stucked at one of the cars parked nearby. Too bad when it hit the door hard enough to dent it.

It took few hours to repair and the waiting time was fully occupied settling arwah's stuff in the lawyer's office. Finally, everything was ready quite late in the evening and we headed straight to Kg Baru to collect Syakira's stuff from the hostel. Time flies very fast and all I know she has completed her first semester.

Along the way that we realised the screen cracked. Might due to the hard hit. We were lucky enough to have Rolfe  around and decided to leave the car with him to settle with the repairing. He and his wife sent us back home.

Wow, what a day. Man plans but Allah decides. Let us pray for His blessings, in shaa Allah.....

Not That Simple

It is not that easy. And no wonder it is quite expensive to pay the runner. I do it myself and can save a lot and the experience that counts.

This is my third day visiting Puspakom and JPJ in Padang Jawa. Waiting is very cliche, etc when everything is up to date the person in charge is away for breakfast and surprisingly the break time is quite sometime, almost one hour, and this is breakfast alone.

In shaa Allah will share the whole process later and will write in next post:)