Hanna

Yes, she does. Hanna Syakira the youngest and used to be very close to arwah Hanif. She will definitely brings me back down to the memory lane..

I was driving home last Thursday when she called, sharing her excitement with me. " Mama , Hanna dah dapat markah BM 81, Matematik 90, BI 90. "Pandai Hanna", thats all I can say.

At around 7.30pm she was busy calling someone. I knew it. Hanna was so excited to share with everyone . " Nenek, ni Hanna. Hanna dah dapat markah, ..and so on...same story to share.. Mama nenek nak solat, nanti Hanna call baliklah."

After a while, again... I heard the conversation, Aunty Lily jadi mangsa...Aunty/ Trolley( mereka dan nama samaran masing2) Hanna dah dapat markah... and again, same story to share....

And last night , Mama dah beritahu Kak Syakira ke markah Hanna. I said No and she quikly weechat kakak.

This morning when we were in uitm she was trying hard to share the same story with Buji thru whtts app but maybe the line was quite distracted.

And finally just few minutes ago, just the two of us in the car. She finally said it and it broke my heart so much.  "Kalau Papa,ada dia mesti dah belikan Hanna hadiah". At last I realised, she misses him a lot. Tambah lagi Hanna genap 7 tahun pada 16 Oktober lalu dan selama ketika Arwah masih ada pasti ada sesuatu untuk Hanna setidak2 nya kek dikongsi bersama Kak Hasya (they both share the same bday month).
terima kasih banyak2 to Aunty2 and Nenek and kakak2 and everyone yng tidak jemu melayan Hanna yang memang sering merindui.....

Dan dua tiga hari lalu terdengar Hanna menelefon dan mengadu domba dengan Kak Syakira bila Haziq mengusiknya sehingga menangis. Dan itulah rutin Hanna sejak dulu lagi kepada papanya ketika arwah masih ada. Rupanya kini Kak Syakira pengganti arwah.  Thanks Syakira for listening to her and soothe her everytime she calls. That's what kakak is for, right.

Hanna sering dilihat sangat nakal, ceria , keletah tetapi jauh di sudut hatinya pasti  tetap teringat akan Arwah dan will always do. Never that she misses even once praying for arwah everytime passing by Tanah Perkubuean Bukit Badak.

Langkawi

13 October 2013

Headed to KLIA around 2.30 pm. Million thanks to Syamim, Wie and Aiman for sending fourteen of us.

First time flying with Malindo Air ("Not Just Low Cost") departed at 4.55pm. An hour and five minutes travelling with Malindo Air and I personally feel it was worth it. Not only free check-in baggage (20 kg) but each passenger was served with a red bean bun and a cute mineral water  at a fare of RM74 (promo) per person. Hope Air Asia could offer the same in the future....

www.malindoair.com

Nenek mendapat layanan istimewa

Mendarat di Langkawi International Airportt

En. Azizi, owner D'Padi menyambut kami

Reached Langkawi Airport at 6pm and En. Azizi, the D'padi owner brought us straight to the homestay.

Overlooking to scenic paddy fields,
The D'padi homestay is really calm and strategically located right in the middle of the  paddy fields. A cute nice three bedrooms bungalow and fully furnished.

http://d-padi.blogspot.com

Nothing much for the day, Ai and Lily did a
quick grocery while familiarising themselves with the routes.

Early bedtime for everyone, and another new and exciting experience for tomorrow, Payar Island for snorkeling.

Nite.....

Jangan Mengungkit

Sambil melayan Hakim membuat soalan Sains (MCQ) secara santai, saya tertarik dengan siaran Al Hijrah yang memaparkan kuliah Zohor oleh Ustadz Harryanto. Tajuk kuliah sangat memikat hati, sangat terkesan dan sesuai dengan senario sehari hari kehidupan kita iaitu Jangan Mengungkit. Begitu simple, tetapi ternyata inilah yang sering berlaku samada secara sedar atau tidak.

Ia sangat sinonim dengan apa yang kami lalui. Hidup kami sekeluarga agak berbeza semenjak ditinggalkan Arwah. Lebih kepada menerima dari memberi. Perasaan jadi keliru, malu ada, rasa bersalah pun ada. Mulalah fikir macam-macam.Bagaimanapun kami terima seikhlas hati kerana segalanya rezeki dari Allah walaupun pemberian itu amat sedikit. Besar ertinya buat kami sekeluarga. Hanya Allah yang membalas segala pemberian. Bagaimanapun, kadang kadang perkara yang berlaku adalah di luar jangkaan. Pemberian dan pertolongan yang dianggap ikhlas rupanya tidak seperti yang disangkakan. Mungkin mereka menyesal menghulurkan bantuan kepada kami dan mulalah mengungkit apa yang telah diberikan satu persatu. jadi terlalu berkira pula. Inilah hakikat dan pengalaman sebenar kami tempuhi sehinggalah ke saat dan hari ini. Dengan anak-anak pun diungkit. Kasihan juga dengan Syakira dan Hasya yang mungkin dah cukup besar untuk rasa terhina. Ia bukan menjurus kepada sakit hati tetapi sayu dan sedih lebih lebih lagi yang mengungkit telah berkorban untuk kami sekeluarga itu adalah orang terdekat. 

Sebagai ketua keluarga saya menjadi was was dan cuak untuk menerima bantuan atau meminta bantuan kerana takut jadi ungkitan lagi. mulalah kononnya nak cuba berdikari walaupun kadang kadang terpaksa juga minta tolong. Tapi itu juga menjadi masalah. Ada pula yang menganggap dan pandai berdikari sedikit dah mula sombong. Rupanya susah juga jadi ibu tunggal dan anak yatim. Coretan saya bukan langsung untuk meraih simpati tetapi diharap menjadi panduan hidup ke arah yang lebih baik.Nak terima bantuan lagi, nanti takut disebut-sebut dan diungkit ungkit. Tidak terima dikatakan pula dah sombong dan macam-macam lagi. Akhirnya yang terbaik hanya berserah kepadaNya kerana inilah dugaan yang perlu dihadapi. Jika dibandingkan dengan orang lain apalah sangat dugaan yang terpaksa saya hadapi sekarang dan tidak pasti sampai bila. Apapun bersyukur dan ikhlas menerima ujian dariNya. 

Bagaimanapun kami sekeluarga sangat berterima kasih kerana masih ada lagi sokongan dan pemberian saudara-mara, rakan-rakan, jiran tetangga yang sangat ikhlas membantu kami sekeluarga tidak putus-putus sehingga ke hari ini.   

Semoga pengisian kuliah Ust. Yanto memberi peringatan buat diri saya dan anak-anak supaya tidak sanggup melakukannya kepada orang lain sepertimana yang kami telah dan sedang lalui ini. In shaa Allah.....
Sebelum beri sesuatu fikir dulukan, jika rasa nak ungkit balik, baik batalkan saja.

Dari Abu Hurairah r.a., Nabi s.a.w. bersabda,

“Tiga orang yang tidak akan Allah ajak bicara pada hari kiamat, tidak pula Allah melihat kepada mereka dan juga tidak mensucikan mereka, serta bagi mereka azab yang pedih.”

Abu Hurairah berkata, “Beliau mengulanginya hingga tiga (3) kali”. Abu Dzarr berkata, “Sungguh merugi, siapakah mereka wahai Rasulullah?” Beliau menjawab, “Musbil (orang-orang yang berisbal iaitu yang melabuhkan pakaiannya melebihi mata kaki ke bawah (bagi lelaki)), orang yang mengungkit-ngungkit kebaikannya dan orang yang menjual barang dagangannya dengan sumpah palsu.” (Hadis Riwayat Muslim, 106)

Thank You

Almost to the end of Syawal and open houses still go on.

Thanks a million to all, Amy and En. Zahid for the brunch, Kak Idah for the great lunch and completed our day with dinner and family gathering in a newly opened restaurant owned by Felda named Savaro located in Publika, Hartamas. Great hospitality and I enjoy the white furnishings and decorating style with splash of green and wood colours.

The kids were overjoyed  that Savaro is just few metres away from Hartamas Regency condo. It was a great timeout for them, spending few hours in the pool regardless of the pouring rain and straight to the restaurant for dinner.
Thank you so much to Kak Yati/Mak De.

Do share several snapshots during the dinner:)

Thank You to Fatin(kanan) di ats layanan

Nasi dihidang di dalam buluh comel

Gambar sebagai kenangan 

Everything Happens for a Reason

An old time friend in uitm Atai (thanks alot:)) shared this story in our group. I must admit it is very true. Everything happens for a reason and Allah knows best. After one year arwah left me and the kids, i learnt a lot and despite of all the challenges, tests and obstacles we faced, there will always be blessings at the end of the episode.

As for me, i personally feels the difference, the strength, the courage and most of all to be more thankful and "syukur" to Him.

I wish my children grow up to be better each day, be thankful and i know this is a great challenge to me.

Feel free to share this story ya:)

A King had a male servant who, in all circumstances always said to him; My king, do not be discouraged because everything Allah does is perfect, no mistakes. One day, they went hunting and a wild animal attacked the king,the servant managed to kill the animal but couldn't prevent his majesty from losing a finger. Furious and without showing gratitude, the King said; if Allah was good,
I would not have been attacked and lost one finger. The servant replied;
Despite all these things, I can only tell you that Allah is good and everything He does is perfect,He is never wrong. Outraged by the response, the king ordered the arrest of his servant. Later, he left for another hunt and was captured by savages who use human beings for sacrifice. In the altar, the savages found out that the king didn't have one finger in place, he was released because he was considered not "complete" to be offered to the Gods.

On his return to the palace, he authorized the release of his servant and said; My friend, Allah was really good to me. I was almost killed but for lack of a single finger I was let go. But I have a question; If Allah is so good, why did He allow me to put you in jail?. He replied; My king, if I had gone with you, I would have been sacrificed because I have no missing finger. Everything Allah does is perfect, He is never wrong.


Often we complain about life, and the incidents that happen to us, forgetting that nothing is random, and that everything has a purpose. Allah knows why he chose you to face the challenge simply because everything happens for a reason, things do happen for our own good.

Allah is Great!

Hanna and her wish

"Mama hari ni kita pergi kubur papa ke?" Early in the morning today. I just agreed but since a last minute order for 10 big jars was received this morning, I thought Hanna could wait patiently.

Alhamdulillah we made it in the last day of Ramadhan this year to fullfill Hanna's wish and for the second time celebrating Aidil Fitri without arwah. Alfatihah........

It is a different feeling...

Wish you all a happy and peacefull Eid ul Fitr Mubarak, and may Allah bless and reward all of you with His blessings.

11 JULY

Last year on the same date, 11 July 2012 changed our whole life. That phone call.... from his workplace was never expected. Puan Salina from the HR department at around 2.30pm informed me about Arwah being collapsed and the police  had arrived. "Saya nak inform suami Puan dah meninggal dunia".He had gone forever without saying goodbye. His last promise that morning was to Hanna "hari ni nak balik awal sikit and nanti kita jumpa ya", while hugging each other. Afrer few days, in her conversation with Kak Syakira, "papa cakap nak balik awal tapi tak balik pun, terus meninggal".

Before the phone call was received, packets of rice were delivered to our doorstep and I straight away asked Haziq to text arwah and informed him. Nevertheless he did not reply. I thought he might be very busy in the office after being in Australia and Jakarta for the past two weeks. Maybe later...I was wrong. He was dying and later we were informed about his demise.

Di dalam tempoh setahun pelbagai pengalaman baru ditempuhi. Semua dilihat sangat susah untuk ditempuhi.Masa berlalu dan hidup diteruskan dengan sokongan pelbagai pihak walaupun rupanya baru tersedar ada yang mengambil kesempatan di atas pemergiannya. Bantuan yang dihulurkan menjadi ungkitan sebagai pengorbanan kepada kami sekeluarga.

Apapun sokongan ikhlas dari orang lain, sahabat handai, jiran dan saudara mara mengatasi segalanya. Terina kasih tidak terhingga kepada semua yang ikhlas membantu kami kerana Allah. Hanya Dia yang membalas jasa kalian yang tidak tersebut nama-nama semua.

Contohnya, ketika sedang sangat kecewa dan putus asa diuji,  terasa seperti dikejutkan dengan nasihat yang sangat ikhlas dari kakak yang agak strict. Seperti terbangun dari tidur, thanks a lot kak. Bila begitu sedih dan pilu Lely lebih approachable untuk dikongsi together with my girls. Thanks to all and of course semua yang tidak jemu membantu. If uncle Ai,  Asyraf and Aiman selalu jadi mangsa but now I have Syamim to bring me everywhere. Selalu juga menyusahkan Rolfe dan Ruhaizat. In shaa Allah we will try our best.

To UNIRAZAK, lecturers, staff. Arwah's students,thanks a million.Tambahan pula hampir setiap minggu Syakira balik dengan pelbagai cerita dan sokongan dari rakan-rakannya juga.

Hidup diteruskan demi membesarkan kelima lima anak kami. Sayalah Papa dan Mama dan mencuba yang terbaik.

Peluang berjumpa dan mendapat nasihat dari orang yang berfikiran pisitif sangat membantu. Prof. Dr. Muhaya memberi nasihat yang sangat menyentuh jiwa dan in shaa Allah akan dijadikan panduan hidup.

"Bila orang buat kita, uji kita tak apa sebab dia nak bagi pahala tapi bila orang puji kita kena berhati hati takut timbul riak. Selalu ingat Allah ada dan orang-orang yang banyak keladak kita jauhkan".

Berharap dan berusaha untuk kehidupan yang lebih baik walaupun hanya sementara. Harap tidak disalah anggap kerana keadaan sudah berbeza, perlu labih berhati- hati dan tidak terlalu mempercayai. Menjauhkan diri dan bersikap biasa biasa sahaja adalah lebih selamat.

Semoga arwah suami Allahyarham Mohd Hanif dicucuri rahmat. Al fatihah.....