Papa Cookies

It was  few weeks after Arwah Hanif passed away when I had the opportunity to meet Dr. Siti Mariah. Sure enough I found myself in a deep conversation with her. We shared about life experieces, and even cried together. The conversation that  we had was only about half an hour but it was truly meaningful, honest and worthwhile. She inspired me and I thought there is no harm trying now.

"Kita diduga dengan pelbagai cara tapi apapun mesti ada hikmah. Dari apa yang saya dengar tentang kisah you ni, saya yakin you boleh, you are educated and I can see that you are very concerned about your kids instead of your ownself. My experiences meeting with single mothers vary. Ada yang ok tapi ada yang fokus kepada diri sendiri, sibuk dengan fesyen terkini dengan gaya yang berlebihan. But I hope you can think and react wisely and this is about the right time for you to seek support from your family and friends. Bukan ambil kesempatan tapi dengan apa yang u ada and your strength, do something and im sure they will support you if they are sincere".

Then I thought this is it. As mentioned in my previous post, my part is done and am now waiting for feedbacks. So why not give it a go. And my girls are also excited about it and they suggested the name Papa Cookies (its all about remembering Arwah Papa).  For our first try it is the Corn flakes homemade Cookies.

Our first week of trying and alhamdulillah we receive orders. Thank you so much to my children for your support and being loyal commenters along with Acik(superb in food testing but yet to order:) and Buji, to Syamin Jannah for the handsome marketing plan, Wee, neighbours, Kak Lina and Suzie, Ms. Leilanie, Ms. Alicia and others. We appreciate your support....Thanks again.

Untuk order yang seterusnya

Patience and Understanding

The processes that I am going through are really new to me. From the day and month of arwah Hanif's demise (July 2012) until today I am still in the midst of tackling one issue to another. Almost a year and along the way I received support, preasures, tests, critics, and positive comments. Accused of being ignorant and not efficient enough to settle things was one of those.Masha Allah, a real challenge! (Sepatutnya cairkan semua aset arwah, bayar hutang kemudian bahagi ikut faraid). One of the comments, simply commenting and not realising this is what Suhaizan has been doing for almost a year till today.

 Sincerely, every single step takes time and tested my patience too. I do not purposely delaying but the procedures and protocoles made me. For months my routines are making telephone calls, visiting Government offices and banks, faxing, sending emails, etc. Therefore, please understand and it is not wise to judge me blindly. It is hard to forget because it hurts but I try to remember it as a good lesson in the future. I am just hamba Allah and am not perfect.

Not only that there are five children to deal with. Hanna's first year of school, Syakira and her PLKN issue and many more. I must thank my friend who assisted us and it was then settled.

By the way to some people who are well experienced and proffesionals, they commented favourably (Kira Zan cepat ya submit dokumen dan dapat settle dengan LA letter, Mahkamah Syariah, EPF  tak sampai setahun, enam bulan lebih dah terima surat perintah mahkamah). Huh, what a relief to hear. A sincere and relevant comments from those who are aware of the processes instead of simply commenting as earlier, right?

I must agree and syukur alhamdulillah compared to those who are still struggling to settle the issue for years, disagreement among siblings, fighting for rights and so on....

To be frank, my  part is done for the time being. Right after the hearing in the land office (several copies of LA letters obtained from them), it is a beginning of another process. Showing proudly the LA to the respective parties and yes I have approached until last week, finally. Puspakom and JPJ done, visit to Inland Revenue done, other Government offices done, and meeting the lawyer done. Nothing else but to wait patiently for the feedbacks and  not waiting blindly instead. Every week I am contacting them for the latest updates. Trust me, I make a pool of new acquaintances along the way...

Please do not get me wrong again. Iam not delaying and denying rights but this is absolutely beyond my control. Hope things can get settled as soon as possible.

The experiences taught me a lot. It is wiser to communicate with the people who appreciate and help sincerely.

Nothing is better than getting redha from Him while going on with life with the children, parents, family and friends healthily and happily. At the same time,In shaa Allah arwah Hanif is always with us. This morning right after she woke up hanna shared her dream, again about arwah. "Ada orang ambil papa bawa balik papa lepas tu kita duduk dengan dia dalam bilik, cium papa, Hakim dengan kak Syakira aje tak ada".........

 Redha, ikhlaskan diri, berusaha, mengenali hati budi setiap insan di sekeliling, lebih berhati-hati dan bergantung sepenuhnya kepada Allah.

"Be patient and understanding. Life is too short to be vengeful and malicious".

What a Day

A fine Tuesday morning, same house chores school bags, uniforms and laundry before leaving for KL. A smooth journey heading to Wangsa Maju when suddenly the air cond was not functioning. As soon as we passed the Jalan Duta Toll then I realized the lights at the dashboard were all turned on. Reminds me of what arwah claimed that this is a warning and something is wrong. Syakira contacted the mechanic and advised to turn off the air cond, keep on driving till i get to find a workshop. Do not turn off the engine or we'll be stranded by the roadside.

Finally reached Wangsa Maju and quickly searched for a workshop. The belt needed to be replaced.  While the mechanic did the jump start he was suddenly losing control,the car reversed and the driver's door hit and stucked at one of the cars parked nearby. Too bad when it hit the door hard enough to dent it.

It took few hours to repair and the waiting time was fully occupied settling arwah's stuff in the lawyer's office. Finally, everything was ready quite late in the evening and we headed straight to Kg Baru to collect Syakira's stuff from the hostel. Time flies very fast and all I know she has completed her first semester.

Along the way that we realised the screen cracked. Might due to the hard hit. We were lucky enough to have Rolfe  around and decided to leave the car with him to settle with the repairing. He and his wife sent us back home.

Wow, what a day. Man plans but Allah decides. Let us pray for His blessings, in shaa Allah.....

Not That Simple

It is not that easy. And no wonder it is quite expensive to pay the runner. I do it myself and can save a lot and the experience that counts.

This is my third day visiting Puspakom and JPJ in Padang Jawa. Waiting is very cliche, etc when everything is up to date the person in charge is away for breakfast and surprisingly the break time is quite sometime, almost one hour, and this is breakfast alone.

In shaa Allah will share the whole process later and will write in next post:)

Malaysia Polling Day

Overflowing of messages received from whatts app etc highlighting the most updated issues and incidents.

I have yet to go since being alone this time around. Waiting patiently to follow my brother later, in shaa Allah. Pray for the best for the nation and "redha" from Allah is the most important thing.

Polling day for a country allows "rakyat" to choose good leaders that are able to perform their responsibilities in good deeds.

Pray for the best In shaa Allah.....

Bersemangat untuk mengundi

Beratur panjang

Index finger

TRUST THINK POSITIVE

While browsing through the instagram, I came across the quotes which I must say very very true and meaningful. Definitely from life experiences. Absolutely nothing to do with hatred or grudge but it is a fact of life which I think right to share with everyone. Well, prevention is better than cure. Thanks to Baizurah Salleh for the post.

DON'T TRUST TOO MUCH
DON'T LOVE TOO MUCH
DON'T HOPE TOO MUCH
BECAUSE THAT TOO MUCH
WILL HURT YOU SO MUCH

Anyway, yesterday, right after receiving a phone call from the Bank Rakyat investment consultant, I thought why not give it a try. Straight away called the nearest Maybank  enquiring about refinancing(frankly,  this is not my 1st try though but i took it positively and get rid of all "keladak" and negative thinking). The officer incharged was very helpful and sincere enough to brief the actual scenario taking me as an example.  "Puan biar saya berterus terang aje ya. Saya kira situasi agak susah kerana ditambah lagi puan tiada pekerjaan tetap dan seorang ibu tunggal , jadi memang susah dan mereka agak strict tapi kalau puan nak cuba tiada masalah". Fair enough.

 The info has at least helped me to cancel one from my checkist for next week because I know it is not going to be a favourable outcome.

This reminds me of what Prof. Muhaya mentioned (more or less)in one of her TV 9 slot. "Jika kita dilanggar dan terpaksa membayar RM500 kita tidak perlu bergaduh dan marah marah tetapi sebaliknya berfikiran positif dan memikirkan bagaimana untuk mencari wang tersebut. She also mentioned about "rasa rendah diri, takut, putus asa adalah sifat keladak yang paling keladak".As in my case above, do not get frustrated but find the ways to solve the situation. First I have to get a job and the first issue tackled. Second, I have to change my status and I guess my problems solved!!?

In shaa Allah a great reminder but the point is when you are trying hard to get rid of all "keladak" the more you are gaining from others. Beyond your control."Bertepuk sebelah tangan tidak akan berbunyi" kerana hanya kita sahaja yang sibuk nyahkan semua keladak yang ada tetapi berurusan dengan peraturan dan manusia manusia  yang memandang status dan penuh keladak di hati mereka.and please, "don't judge a book by its cover".

 As a conclusion, hanya kebergantungan dengan Allah sahaja dan cukup hanya Allah sahaja penawar hati jika tidak di dunia in shaa Allah di kemudian hari.

Test is a bless

Its the same feeling when challenges cannot be avoided. When something happens just like that, it takes time to cure and support from everyone is a real theraphy. Sometimes you might think are you asking so much ? Are they sinceeely listening to your grievances or are they doing it just for the sake of doing it. Every day when I wake up I try to remind myself, enough of that but at times I can't avoid sharing with others. It is a relief.......

Nevertheless I am not strong enough to do so but I am trying. "redha", "ikhlas" and talk to Him. Yes I will but the moment you are trying hard to educate yourself the more you are in pain. Just because there will be more tests and challenges ahead.

After almost ten months, this is life, it hurts  so much, it is very bitter and full with pain. The demise of arwah Hanif is a real test to me and kids but surprisingly to some people thats not hard enough... I deserve more than that.

I thought everyone is pure and sincere thereafter but still there are some who are taking advantage, purposely creating unnecessary actions, "bukan apa, nak test saja Zan ni macamana melenting ke tidak itu saja". At this very moment of time, should I deserve to be tested again instead of getting support? What Allah tested me 10 months ago was still not worth it? Sampainya hati.......

"No matter how you behave with people around you, they will love you based on their NEED and their MOOD".

 I need to be strong for the kids but only He knows how I truly feel.........Anyway "ikhlaskan diri" dan "redha".

A good lesson to myself. Be sensitive and it is not  worth trusting  too much although you might have known someone for ages.You actually thought so but you didn't.

Anyway I started to believe that MONEY TALKS!.........

Harith Iskandar the entertainer claimed that woman is more intelligent than man. "If at all u are a tiny germ and stucked in a waman's brain, it is really breathless and congested in there.Full with memories, folders and files. Unlike the man's brain which is very spacious and even your voice is echoing..:) "
-Lawak ke dir.

I am a waman and you are right Mr. Harith. The surroundings are driving me crazy.


"Ikhlaskan dirimu dan redhakan segalanya"